In Praise of the Indian Toilet

On the evening of my final night in India last year, my friends asked me what I was going to miss most about their country. “The food,” was my immediate answer. And the people, of course, especially them. “But I am going to miss the arse wash a lot, too.”

For those of you not familiar with the typical toilet scene in India, let me break it down for you:

In establishments that cater to a Western (or Westernized) clientele, there is the typical Western toilet that you see in countries like the U.S. along with a roll of toilet paper and a small spray hose (the device for washing the “arse,” or ass). When you see businesses advertising “Western-style toilets,” that’s what they are talking about. In more modest businesses serving a primarily Indian customer base or in public places, like trains, rarely will you see a Western toilet, and there will be instead an opening in the floor, typically with a treaded foothold on each side. There may or may not be toilet paper or a wash hose, but there will always be a water source along with a small spouted container, which you use to pour water over yourself until, aided by your hand, you are clean. 

While I don’t really like the bucket-only scene, I still appreciate the use of water to clean down there. Not only does it cut down on the amount of toilet paper you use, but it gets your junk cleaner than paper alone, especially after passing solid waste. I have heard people decry the Indian toilet as being primitive, but once you have used water to get clean, it’s difficult and a little disgusting to go back to using only toilet paper. Westerners might be shocked at the use of water only—not to mention touching our naughties—but imagine how dirty to the Indian mind our method seems.

I know folks back in the San Francisco Bay Area who throw the toilet paper in the trash instead of flushing it; they do this not because they have old pipes, but because it is better for the environment to keep it out of the water system.

But wait, you say, what about the extra water we will be using to wash our bums? Good question, but according to this article in Scientific American, the water used to produce toilet paper is so much greater than the relatively small extra amount we would use to clean ourselves that there’s no comparison.

If you just clicked that link above, you saw the article was praising bidets, which are typically the height of a Western toilet. But is the raised toilet really an improvement over the floor toilet? I know a couple other folks who use a device intended to lift up the feet when using the toilet in order to aid in bowel movements. We, as a species, are meant to squat when we move our bowels. The Western-style toilet precludes this pose as it puts us in a position halfway between squatting and standing, where, subconsciously, our bodies aren’t sure what to do. Ever tried taking a poop standing up? Me, neither, but I bet it would be damn hard because our anatomy is not designed to expel solid waste while we are standing (tigers chasing us might dispel that inhibition).

Of course, the floor toilet is not accessible to everyone, like people who are unable to squat, so this post is not directed toward the whole of our population. However, for most of us, with a little practice the position can become familiar enough to seem natural. Keep in mind the following when you are faced with using a floor toilet:

• Larger end of the opening is under your spine; face forward toward the smaller opening.
• Wash yourself clean with water and then, if  you must, use a tiny bit of toilet paper to blot dry. Throw the paper in the trash can. 
• Get in the practice of using the non-dominant hand to do the cleaning lest there is no soap and you’re about to go back to your lovely thali in the off-the-beaten track restaurant you just discovered.
• If you are on a train, hang on to something while you are squatting. You don’t want to go rolling across the bathroom floor if the car pitches suddenly.

Sorry for all the shit talk, but in Ayurvedic and yogic philosophy, taking a daily dump or two is of primary importance. In this case, what is good for the body is also good for our earth. As the scientists who study this shit will tell you, using a little water will save a lot, and don’t forget all the trees we won’t have to chop down to make the t.p. If you are still in doubt about the cleanliness aspect, common sense will tell you that using water to clean down there is more hygienic than using dry toilet paper; if you don’t believe me, I have only one thing to say to you: dingleberries. So before you call the floor toilet and arse wash “primitive,” think about how each is better for our bodies as well as the environment, and perhaps you will see the traditional Indian toilet in a different light.

Please follow and like us: